I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
