Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
