Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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