She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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