okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
