i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
