I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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