i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
