He kissed a someone with a penis
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
did i just pee glitter
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