me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
