I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
