how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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