Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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