If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
