Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
