I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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