Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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