If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
