My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
