I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
