whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
