You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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