look no pants
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
