We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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