I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
