Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize