i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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