My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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