Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Bring me that man meat
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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