remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
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At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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