You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
