If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
