i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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