I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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