You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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