Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I tried to use my car keys to open my door

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  I just started a sentence with yellow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): I tried to use my car keys to open my door (1-778): I just started a sentence with yellow. http://tfl.nu/gagl
  Replies (9) Good night (1780) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere. http://tfl.nu/w0w9
  Replies (11) Good night (3583) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up http://tfl.nu/m2d3
  Replies (78) Good night (1221) Bad night (5046)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  That's why there are breakfast margaritas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): That's why there are breakfast margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dzi9
  Replies (3) Good night (3279) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/vjgb
  Replies (9) Good night (2695) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out. http://tfl.nu/58i4
  Replies (3) Good night (2652) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness. http://tfl.nu/4wfs
  Replies (12) Good night (2978) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out. http://tfl.nu/gccc
  Replies (3) Good night (1635) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes. http://tfl.nu/zq4p
  Replies (5) Good night (2009) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand http://tfl.nu/gtek
  Replies (8) Good night (2190) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts. http://tfl.nu/ycxv
  Replies (4) Good night (1086) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud. http://tfl.nu/cdmp
  Replies (5) Good night (2863) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk http://tfl.nu/zmxc
  Replies (1) Good night (587) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM. (1-337): How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse. http://tfl.nu/m0tv
  Replies (6) Good night (671) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection http://tfl.nu/kohz
  Replies (2) Good night (334) Bad night (402)

Randomize