Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver

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  (313): Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink (313): Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver http://tfl.nu/lqre
  Replies (9) Good night (2410) Bad night (550)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.

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  (843): I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's. http://tfl.nu/1kcz
  Replies (21) Good night (899) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.

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  (732): I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning. http://tfl.nu/m9jy
  Replies (13) Good night (5081) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.

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  (919): She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat. http://tfl.nu/bin7
  Replies (9) Good night (1796) Bad night (5237)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina

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  (717): ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina http://tfl.nu/5npd
  Replies (30) Good night (549) Bad night (8895)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  She kept screaming "best case scenario"

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  (902): She kept screaming "best case scenario" http://tfl.nu/vv3n
  Replies (7) Good night (2941) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.

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  (978): Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane. http://tfl.nu/r200
  Replies (20) Good night (2916) Bad night (1467)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie

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  (815): I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie http://tfl.nu/y42e
  Replies (3) Good night (1944) Bad night (1438)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.

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  (412): we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better. http://tfl.nu/vdj0
  Replies (8) Good night (2406) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus

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  (213): I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus http://tfl.nu/i6gi
  Replies (5) Good night (856) Bad night (1770)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.

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  (330): I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show. http://tfl.nu/dej0
  Replies (5) Good night (2327) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...

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  (443): I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket... http://tfl.nu/7x9r
  Replies (4) Good night (1365) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.

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  (708): Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway. http://tfl.nu/5xxq
  Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

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  (616): 2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll. (616): 2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll. http://tfl.nu/3aiz
  Replies (6) Good night (1061) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.

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  (412): It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life. http://tfl.nu/gcvx
  Replies (5) Good night (814) Bad night (301)

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