Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?

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  (708): Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus? http://tfl.nu/ye38
  Replies (5) Good night (1728) Bad night (558)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa

  (404): View more from Georgia

  sure if you go to prison

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  (813): i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa (404): sure if you go to prison http://tfl.nu/yad5
  Replies (24) Good night (919) Bad night (2826)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself

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  (321): Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself http://tfl.nu/yztr
  Replies (19) Good night (4361) Bad night (935)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.

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  (603): Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/y50b
  Replies (16) Good night (2239) Bad night (2344)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Your favorite bartender is back from prision

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  (563): Your favorite bartender is back from prision http://tfl.nu/uuje
  Replies (12) Good night (6455) Bad night (814)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?

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  (508): i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever? http://tfl.nu/6llk
  Replies (60) Good night (1190) Bad night (4328)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.

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  (919): I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels. http://tfl.nu/lt6v
  Replies (19) Good night (4461) Bad night (1394)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often

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  (412): the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often http://tfl.nu/iv13
  Replies (25) Good night (4369) Bad night (1048)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady

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  (250): there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady http://tfl.nu/zjtt
  Replies (5) Good night (888) Bad night (2369)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?

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  (631): I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone? http://tfl.nu/fjjr
  Replies (10) Good night (3526) Bad night (876)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.

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  (541): Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars. http://tfl.nu/cv6a
  Replies (8) Good night (2077) Bad night (549)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  ...

  (281): View more from Texas

  Exactly.

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  (281): She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick... (832): ... (281): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/w9ox
  Replies (9) Good night (705) Bad night (1625)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!

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  (937): Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would! http://tfl.nu/dkq8
  Replies (8) Good night (766) Bad night (270)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club

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  (+44): Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club http://tfl.nu/ri4h
  Replies (6) Good night (701) Bad night (282)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.

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  (601): It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/yyx4
  Replies (4) Good night (519) Bad night (340)

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