oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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