Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa

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  (401): Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa http://tfl.nu/h6ux
  Replies (29) Good night (732) Bad night (1090)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?

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  (860): Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims? http://tfl.nu/jffq
  Replies (45) Good night (4127) Bad night (1003)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

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  (706): If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america. http://tfl.nu/uk3q
  Replies (28) Good night (1435) Bad night (2614)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"

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  (212): I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out" http://tfl.nu/blqb
  Replies (29) Good night (8765) Bad night (1000)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break

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  (214): She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break http://tfl.nu/bh5f
  Replies (8) Good night (1304) Bad night (4014)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol

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  (303): it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol http://tfl.nu/7ss1
  Replies (1) Good night (3104) Bad night (888)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Walk of Shame today included voting.

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  (734): Walk of Shame today included voting. http://tfl.nu/glwh
  Replies (26) Good night (6178) Bad night (963)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?

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  (704): What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present? http://tfl.nu/yubn
  Replies (26) Good night (4259) Bad night (1054)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"

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  (520): I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito" http://tfl.nu/vbc5
  Replies (8) Good night (1079) Bad night (600)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.

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  (309): I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough. http://tfl.nu/3hvx
  Replies (3) Good night (643) Bad night (1089)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.

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  (706): It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later. http://tfl.nu/oph9
  Replies (0) Good night (823) Bad night (917)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.

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  (270): I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right? (1-270): It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking. http://tfl.nu/u0kh
  Replies (5) Good night (1692) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.

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  (614): I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun. http://tfl.nu/8d32
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills

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  (301): I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills http://tfl.nu/lwly
  Replies (5) Good night (317) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin

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  (319): You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin http://tfl.nu/3xwn
  Replies (5) Good night (194) Bad night (637)

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