it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
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Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
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Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures