I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance