you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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