Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...