No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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