Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
