READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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