I want to make a zoo with you.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
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Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
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Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have fence marks all over my body
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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