there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
