My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
The ass gains better be worth it
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