Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
