Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
