I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
