If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Do vagina's smell?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
