You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
