so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
