I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
