Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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