so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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