Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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