Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
