i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
