You work out of a Hotel?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize