i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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