Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
