hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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